I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
did i walk over a car last night?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
