nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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