I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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