My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize