Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
