So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
