matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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