I bet he comes in French.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize