Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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