I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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