dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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