"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
