Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
