Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
