Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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