I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
