It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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