My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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