Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
