Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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