Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
