I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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