she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
