With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
