talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
