last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
