i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
