we should wear snuggies to the strip club
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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