Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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