Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize