your thong is hanging out like whoa
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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