Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
