I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
