If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
