Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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