Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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