What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
