K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
