so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
