If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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