Do you still have your period?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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