You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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