can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
