I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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