If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
