You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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