No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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