Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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