True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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