marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
