That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Found the puke drawer
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
