I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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