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• (360): View more from Washington

  two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?

  (206): View more from Washington

  only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  this is your brother

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• (845): View more from New York

  I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Why are you covered in frosting?

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.

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• (714): View more from California

  He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?

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• (714): View more from California

  You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying

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• (631): View more from New York

  Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?

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• (315): View more from New York

  I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?

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