i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
