flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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