I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
