my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
