dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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