Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i came on her dog
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
