She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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