So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
