dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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