I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
