You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
