Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize