I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
