In the future we'll all be gay
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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