So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My vagina just clenched in fear
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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