I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We're too hungover to prance.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
