he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
