You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
