T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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