you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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