I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
