i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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