I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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