yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
What a dumb baby whore.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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