i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
