I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
